


All I ever wanted

by gothikmaus



Series: All I ever wanted / All I ever needed [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Pre-Slash, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1500437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothikmaus/pseuds/gothikmaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only thing Steve wants is for Danny to be happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I ever wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and posted on LiveJournal in September 2011.
> 
> Inspired by two deleted scenes from 1x24. Title shamelessly ripped from Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the silence".
> 
> In this part the story is told through Steve's point of view, the next part will be told through Danny's.

Steve walks into the hospital room and stops dead in his tracks. At first he thinks the sleeping figure pressed up against Danny's side is Grace, but no, Grace is asleep in one of the chairs in the corner. It only takes him a second to figure it out. And then Danny is looking at him, his eyes bright and his smile... Steve's never seen him smile like that before. He forces out a grin, hoping it doesn't look like a pained grimace and all but runs out of the door.

*

He starts the engine and pulls out of the parking lot. He has no idea where he's going and he doesn't care, as long as it's far away from the hospital and that room. Steve has seen Danny look happy before: when he spends time with Grace, when they tie up a case and go for a celebratory beer with the team, when the Yankees win a particularly difficult game. But all that pales in comparison to the brilliant smile Danny gave him tonight.

Steve's mind wanders back to all the times he thought he could feel something between the two of them: the tense moments during a chase, when they didn't need words to understand each other; the way Danny looked at him sometimes, as if nothing else existed; the lingering touches, too short to really mean anything, yet too long to be brushed off as accidental. Steve had been so close to just grab Danny's face and kiss him once, when the friendly bickering had turned into outright flirting. Maybe he should have grabbed his chance: he doesn't think he'll have another one now.

*

Steve stares straight ahead, eyes fixed on the road. He shouldn't have snapped, he should have just kept his damn mouth shut. But he couldn't just sit there and watch as Danny dived headfirst into something that would leave him heartbroken again.

So Rachel is leaving Stan. And Danny is convinced he can just erase the divorce, the fighting over Grace's custody, everything he and Rachel went through in the last years. He's willing to forget everything if it means getting back together with the love of his life and start all over again. Just thinking about it makes something clench painfully in Steve's chest.

He tells himself he's simply worried about a friend and ignores the impulse to just pull over and show Danny how much happier he could be with him instead.

*

Danny insists on coming over to his place, claiming Steve shouldn't be left alone right now. Steve suspects Danny's the one who shouldn't be left alone.

They sit down on the sofa, beer in hand, and Steve turns on the TV to fill in the silence.

"I'm sorry."

Danny turns and looks at him. "What for? Are you sorry for getting yourself arrested? For breaking out of jail and almost getting yourself killed in the process? Or maybe for beating up a police officer and stealing his uniform? You'll have to be a little more specific there, you have a lot you should be sorry for."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and Rachel."

Danny is silent for a moment. "Yeah, well."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Danny snorts and takes a sip of his beer.

"Danny..."

"What do you want me to say, huh? I was so happy, Steve, so fucking happy. Scared shitless too, sure, because, yeah, another baby right now, in the middle of this mess, but I was happy, I was going to have my family back. I... I even forgot about Five-0 for a moment there." Danny looks down at his feet and Steve doesn't need to be a psychologist to see how guilty he feels about it.

"But you didn't go with them. You stayed."

"Yeah. Yeah, I did." Danny's voice is low and soft. Steve likes the way it sounds. "When I saw you get arrested, I just forgot about everything else. I didn't even think of calling Rachel to tell her I wouldn't be able to make it to the airport." He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Maybe I don't deserve to have a family after all. I keep putting my job first, nothing's changed."

"Hey, don't say that. Don't even think that. Rachel knows you're a cop, she's known from the beginning. She knows what you're like, once you start something, you don't stop until you get to the bottom of it."

"Well, that doesn't matter now, does it? She's getting back with Stan, they're gonna have their own little family and I'll go back to having my weekends with Grace and pretending that's enough."

Danny looks devastated as he glances back up and Steve would do anything to erase that look from his face. He slides closer and wraps his arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He expects some kind of resistance, of fight. He expects Danny to push him away and say he doesn't need to be comforted, does he look like some kind of broken-hearted girl in need of a hug? But Danny doesn't protest and all but melts against him, resting his forehead against Steve's shoulder and putting his hands tentatively on Steve's waist.

"You still love her, don't you?" Steve asks in a whisper and he knows the answer will hurt, but he needs to know.

Danny nods, face still hidden against Steve's chest and Steve's arms tighten briefly around him. He closes his eyes and swallows.

"You're not alone in this, Danny. You know you can always count on me."

Danny lifts his head and looks him in the eye. "Yeah, I know."

Steve can feel it, the tension that has been building ever since they first met, and it's so strong that for a crazy moment he thinks Danny will lean in and kiss him and that would be it, Steve will finally show him he can be happy without Rachel, all he needs is right here in this room, he just has to go ahead and take it.

But Danny just gives him a small, sad smile and pulls away.

"Thank you."

He puts his hands on his knees and pushes himself up to his feet.

"I'll see you tomorrow at HQ."

Steve doesn't stand up, he needs to keep some space between them to avoid doing something stupid. "Try to get some sleep, you look awful."

"Fuck you, McGarrett. I look fabulous. I always do."

Steve has to bite down on his tongue not to blurt out "Yes, you do".


End file.
